FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
