She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
