..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
