i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
