He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
