she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
