and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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