Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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