FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
