Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I am one with the molecules
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
