i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize