____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He passed out mid-signature
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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