You're so nebulous sometimes
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
there is glitter all over my balls
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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