McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
