Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
