I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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