Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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