i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
3pm strippers are depressing
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're a waste of cheezeits
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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