Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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