I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
