she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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