i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
