I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
