you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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