Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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