Pants 0. Shit 1.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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