I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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