there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
