Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
