Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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