a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
