dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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