She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
