There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
