ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize