Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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