sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
