Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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