3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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