K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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