omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
