Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We are two peas in an std pod
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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