I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
