No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
