god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
