let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
