Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
