Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
