At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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