please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dear god my vagina.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize