Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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