My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
