Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
