I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
