I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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