If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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