Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
